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You will probably laugh when I tell you that my interest in body language was inspired by my favorite university professor. He mentioned "Pinocchio's Syndrome" one winter morning after stating that I was always rubbing my nose to make excuses for being late to his lectures. Apparently, when someone lies, the person's blood rushes to the nose and the excess blood causes itching. So if you think someone isn't being completely honest with you, maybe, like my teacher, you should watch to see if they're scratching their nose. This little example of non-verbal communication inspired me to become an expert on body language.
Now I make a living teaching people non-verbal communication. Knowing when someone is lying and knowing how to convince people that you are telling the truth are the two most important skills you will never learn. For example, lawyers build their reputation on their deductive skills when cross-examined in court, while politicians must rely on their powers of persuasion to gain support.
I have devoted my life to studying how the human body gives more reliable information than words say. Words say one thing, but the body can say something completely different. This is body language theory and most of us are familiar with the basics. We know that crossed arms can be seen as defensive or aggressive, but what about facial expressions, gestures, posture, intonation, and the rhythm of our speech? All this speaks volumes and can be understood if you only know how to understand the signs.
Take, for example, the eyes. If I lied to you, you would probably expect me to turn my back instead of looking you in the face. However, this is not a sure sign of a lie, as is commonly believed, but the reflexive movements that we make when we try to remember something. Because of this, looking away is not as easy to interpret as you might believe. A good liar doesn't search his memory for the truth, so he can quite easily look you straight in the eye when he speaks to make the lie more convincing. But here's a hint for you. Watch the pupil of the eye; does it change size? If it gets bigger, it's probably an involuntary sign that something is hiding.
Body language is something most of us can't control, it's something that slips away when we focus on something else. I might think I'm making a good impression because my voice is strong and steady and my speech is clear, but the sweat pouring from my forehead and my constantly moving legs say otherwise.
Business clients are constantly in need of my services and I try to boost their confidence by teaching them body language. I give advice about handshakes, which should always be firm and steady, and teach the importance of personal space, explaining that people living in warm climates stand much closer together than people in cooler climates.
They may seem minor, but these codes of conduct can be the key to making or breaking a business deal.
My working life brings me great satisfaction. I feel like I'm providing a public service, but it's a service that has its downside. Whenever I meet someone new and I tell them what I'm doing for a living, they immediately put out their guard and they don't relax anymore. They literally freeze, trying to hide all the signals they assume I'm reading. Sometimes it makes life difficult, but I think it's a small price to pay for a job that I enjoy so much.